It was in the late eighties when I first ran across that scripture that said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV). At the time I was going through so much and thought that I would literally lose my mind! I had not been a Christian long at the time and there were elementary things that I was discovering and learning to apply to my life. I was told early on that becoming a Christian did not exempt me from problems or pressure. It did not exempt me from depression or heart break. They taught me that there would be times that my heart would ache so much that I would feel that I couldn’t breathe. Somehow, I just filed those insights away in the “file” of my mind and kept on living for and learning more about the One whom I had entrusted my life to.
Well, it has been over 35 years, and I have experienced a few things since then. I’ve experienced mountainous problems, sometimes unrelenting pressure, depression and heartache. Yes, the file cabinet drawers of my mind have been opened again and again. I have extracted those insights that I filed away. But can I let you in on a little secret? Those things that hit me the hardest are when I have witnessed the pain and suffering of those whom I love. My heart breaks over the pain of others. I just want to fix it, but I cannot. I know the scriptures and many I can quote verbatim and yet sometimes that doesn’t seem enough. I have faith in the One who can do more than I ever could, and so I wait. I pray and I trust, and I wait. I wait for their hearts to heal, and I sob uncontrollably behind closed doors. There are many things that I do not understand. Sometimes all I can say is, “This is so hard.” My mind has questions and there are no answers that satisfy. Then suddenly, peace invades my soul and the One in whom I trust reminds me, “My grace is sufficient for you” and I can breathe again.