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To forgive or not to forgive...




All of us at one time or another have probably asked ourselves, after doing something that we shouldn’t, “Why did you do that”? I know I have. And from there it was down hill for a while as I beat myself up repeatedly until I, after repenting, finally forgave myself and moved on. Forgiving someone who has hurt us is often so hard to do. And it is extremely hard to do depending upon who it was that hurt us. Sometimes it is the degree of what was done to us that we use to justify not forgiving the perpetrator. Some of us have even said from our place of pain, “I will never forgive you for what you have done”! To be honest this forgiveness thing can be rather complicated and without help we would not and could not forgive as we ought. There are a few things that I am reminded about forgiveness as I write:


  • Forgiveness is for you, not for the person who wronged you. Forgiveness helps you to maintain peace and to move on and not be stuck! I have often heard that holding on to unforgiveness is like waking around with a corpse attached to you while hoping the person who wronged you will die!


  • Holding on to a grudge will only bring harm to you. It eats away at your entire being. It will affect you spiritually, emotionally and physically. It is like a cancer that spreads throughout your entire being and won’t stop until you stop it. You are your own cure!


  • Forgiveness may not change the one who harmed you, but it will change you. Unforgiveness can lead to a root of bitterness that can turn you into someone else. You will lose yourself!


  • Forgiving yourself is equally important. You are worth being forgiven, no matter what you have done. God is not mad at you and if He has already forgiven you then who are you not to forgive yourself?


  • Forgiveness is a lifestyle. People are always going to do something to hurt or harm you. You are always going to be doing things to hurt or harm others whether you intend to or not. It is a lifestyle that has to be cultivated.


  • And finally, God never asks us to do something that He will not help us do. He truly does help us everyday and in every way. All we have to do is ask!

Just a little something to think about.


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