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Palmetto Bugs

When we moved to South Carolina I was about to be introduced to a creature that seemed vaguely familiar. I mean one day in my garage I came across this gigantic version of a roach and was told that it was not a roach but a Palmetto bug. Oh, so is that what they are calling them these days in the state of South Carolina? To me it is just a roach on steroids! Mike was not home so I could not call him to get it. He is the bug whisperer in our home. I just love going to get him to get them! He talks to them while taking them out! My man has come a long way! Unlike the time when we were in Misawa, Japan and found that we had a mouse in the house. It took two strong soldiers, he, and his best friend to chase down one little mouse!

This day it was just that Palmetto Bug and me. Oh, wait unlike that early Sunday morning when we were getting ready to leave for church and Mike went to the side of the house to check on his beloved elephant ear plants. He called me to come and look and, in my effort, I stopped dead in my tracks. Right in front of me, in the grass was a snake. I yelled, “Snake!” I guess that I was rather loud as the little boys across the street came over and asked if they could have it. Could they have it? I must have said, “Yes” but for the life of me I cannot remember saying another word. The next thing I knew they had a box, put the snake in it and headed home. Now back to the palmetto bug. I would not yell, “BUG.” I would fight this battle on my own and I was determined to win. My weapon of choice was a broom and I grabbed it and that cockroach, oh excuse me Palmetto Bug must have sensed that it was about to enter the land of the not so dearly departed. It took off running and I took off behind it! It was not going to enter my house, no way no how! I got it. I smashed that thing like a woman deranged! I had won. I got it. But now if you go into our garage you will notice that there are sticky traps all over the place.

Now we are in Georgia and they do not call them cockroaches either. They call them water bugs. What is wrong with you folks? They are cock roaches on steroids people. They are infestation experts. They carry disease and they are not partial. They will come in whether your house is immaculate or not. You spray and they say, “Aww a cocktail.” You lay out a sticky trap and they struggle to the death to get loose. They are determined to come in and make themselves a part of the family with the intention of eating your food, giving you the willies, and making a mad getaway when discovered. "Why? Oh why Noah did you let ‘em in the ark?"

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