I had an epiphany this morning while I was quietly sitting and listening and reflecting on my life; what is behind me, where I am right now, and what I expect for the future. As a Christian, I know that my growth in the Lord is supposed to be constant. I mean, sometimes I have found myself in the wilderness where my maturity seemed stalled. At these times, it was as if I was not making any headway at all and sometimes it even seemed as if I was moving backwards. But somehow, I knew enough to not focus on the negative but to keep on as best I could because it would be alright. I have learned a few things while being in the wilderness and I would like to share them with you.
I love the Lord and I tell Him so all the time, but my love for Him could never ever even come close to the love that He has for me. Sometimes He allows me to just feel His love, and I am overwhelmed! It’s His grace… giving me what I have not earned nor even deserved that awakens me to this revelation, and I am humbled. It is His mercy… not giving me what I deserve; for my sin that awakens within me just how much He truly loves me.
His desire is that I become even more fruitful. He is working to build my character. Character building is often painful as I wrestle with my flesh, and it is an ongoing battle. Sometimes I win and sometimes I lose, but the battle is never-ending, and I am so grateful that I don't have to do it alone. I fall, but I get right back up… I am still standing.
I listen more than I work. There is a saying, “work smarter, not harder.” When I was young in the Lord, I was eager to do just about anything that people asked of me. Oh, but not now that I have matured, somewhat. I consult Him about the task, about the direction, about those whom I want to connect myself to. Everything that is a good thing is not for me. I must consult Him. This was an epiphany for me. Non activity can be a deceiver if I don’t hear from the Lord and receive His instructions. Sometimes my doing must cease and the listening for His voice must be intentional. Some call it a sabbatical, a timeout, or a time of rest. I call it going into the secret place and allowing myself to be enraptured with a love so perfect that it is a shock to my senses, fuel for my next and a constant reassurance that I am being obedient to Him.
Yet, again I hear Him call to me, “Come away my beloved” and I run into His arms and hear His heartbeat and I am once again at peace!